When “Best Intentions” and “Reality” meet

We’ve all had “one of those days” where we want to just climb back into bed and start over. This month has had more than it needed.

-- Augusten Burroughs
— Augusten Burroughs

Previously I said I joined a Holiday Challenge to help get through the holiday season a little healthier than I started it. “How’s that going for you?” I’m so glad you asked.  It’s not going the best, actually.  Alright, it’s more “meh” than bad.  I didn’t run for 12 days between the 15th and Thanksgiving morning, the 24th.  The fact that I hate the cold is an excuse to not run.  I could easily go to the gym and run indoors — where the track is a bore and the treadmill is worse.  The SADD (Seasonal Affective Depression Disorder) is in cahoots with the regular depression to keep me indoors, where it is safe, warm, and there’s usually something sweet around.  Even if the “sweet” is a cup of tea. The depression isn’t an excuse, but it makes making excuses too easy.

I was starting to beat myself up about slacking for a week and a half. Then I remembered I AM NOT QUITTING!  I ran the Gobble Wobble with my husband Thanksgiving Day even though I really, really wanted to stay in bed where it was warm. I ended up having a really good run in spite of walking the first quarter mile because of the crowd. Later that afternoon I went for a two mile walk with my two nephews, 13 and 10.

Our youngest is Type 1 diabetic, and spent 4 days in the hospital during this 12 day running lapse.  I was very stressed, and worried.  You force yourself to eat because you know you need to, and I tried to make the best choices I could. I can say I didn’t eat my feelings until after she was discharged. But eat them I did.

After she was discharged and got home I needed sleep, but it wouldn’t come.  It takes me a couple of days to recover after she has an inpatient stay and lost more running time.

There was weather. It’s an excuse, but remember the dreaded coldness that goes with it this time of year. And I had a weekend retreat with the volunteer activism group I’m part of. And I had dessert to make for Thanksgiving. And I get to watch our baby granddaughter during the week, and it is too cold to be outside with her. She also sleeps for 2-3 hours most afternoons.  And you never mess with a baby’s naps if you can avoid it.

— Anthony Douglas Williams

So there it was suddenly 12 days later.  I need to work on not letting that sort of thing bother me as much as it does.  I’d like to get to the point of saying “as much as it used to.” I like that quote, about not having regrets.

Week 5 of the Challenge has started. I’m hanging in there. Tomorrow the weather is going to be mild for this time of year. As long as the rain stays away I should be able to get outside for a few miles.

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